This is a war I have been fighting since I graduated high school…and I WON

Post date: Oct 4, 2016 8:32:45 PM

Oct 3 2016

Today marks the day that both my mom and dad have FINALLY accepted me as an adult who can pay for my own bills and afford to pay for my family’s bills. I have been trying to prove to both my parents that I can support myself and my family through music and MUSIC ALONE for years. This is an argument that has occurred millions of times throughout my twenties and a huge influence in finding my identity in college. Maybe it’s the fact that since the recent split of my parents, my mom now has to support herself with the small amount of retirement income she is given, initiating her decision in thinking it’s okay for me to pay for things, or maybe she saw all my other cousins at my age doing fine without their parents (We had a family reunion/wedding this past weekend. All my cousins live miles away from their parents, some with kids). Whatever the reason may be, I feel a sense of FREEDOM and PRIDE. This is a war I have been fighting since I graduated high school…and I WON.

When I was 20ish, my parent’s and I were arguing about changing my major from Nutrition to Music. My dad FLIPPED! It was the typical argument I had with them time and time again about how music can’t pay for your bills and that there are no Filipino Frontmen in bands or famous Filipinos. At the height of this particular argument, I walked away while yelling, “You’ll see… I’m going to be making music, selling CDs, and one day I’m going to be so famous, I’m going to buy you a new house!” (At the time, I was butthurt about my family moving to an unnecessary bigger home. I’m still kind of butthurt). When I changed my major, my dad stopped paying for my tuition and I started to save money from summer jobs and gigs to pay for my education.

Ten years later, I’m not famous and I can’t buy them a house…but I sure as hell am making a living with music by singing for famous people and paying for some of my parent's bills to help them get out of debt. (I say it's only a few steps closer to what I declared 10 years ago)

Now don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that my parent’s have wanted to support me financially all these years, but when you know you’re making more money than they are with a job they never wanted you to have or thought would ever be successful, it’s embarrassing and has always made me feel bad when my mom would force money into my hand. When you are a responsible adult knowing that your parent’s are in debt because they financially supported you and your siblings for 30 years… there’s a sense of undeniable certainty that it’s time for you to take on the responsibilities your parent’s have sacrificed for you and GIVE BACK. #adulting #growingupfilipino #lifeofamusician